


the one that got away

by bffdahyuns



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Break Up, Crying, F/F, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Letters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:47:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29263764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bffdahyuns/pseuds/bffdahyuns
Summary: At 3am, Heejin pours her heart and soul into a letter to her ex and first love, Hyunjin, to give herself a source of comfort, and possibly, closure.
Relationships: Jeon Heejin/Kim Hyunjin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	the one that got away

**Author's Note:**

> first time writing angst pls be nice EHUGDGBG
> 
> pls dont cry

Heejin flattens a piece of paper against her study desk, the alarm clock blinking by her side.

3.34am, the clock reads.

Heejin sniffles, rubbing her swollen, red eyes, her palm brushing against the dried tears on her cheeks.

Heejin picks up a ballpoint pen delicately, and clicks the top of the pen slowly, the sound reverberating throughout the dark room.

Letting out a long, dragged out sigh, Heejin finally puts the pen to paper.

Heejin’s hand refuses to move, the dark blue ink pooling around the silver tip, nearly tearing through the paper.

Heejin blinks once, then twice, and her hand finally starts to move. She writes two words down, that sends a pang into her chest.

Dear Hyunjin,

Seeing her name, a rush of emotions and memories floods Heejin’s mind. Her entire body tenses up, her fingers crushing the pen, as she feels a lump forming in her throat, her eyes becoming glossy.

Heejin shuts her eyes, tight, and feels a lone tear flowing down her cheeks.

Opening her eyes again, Heejin finally begins to write.

letter starts

Dear Hyunjin,

I don't know how to start this, and I don't think I ever will. But, I feel like it's the best for the both of us if I finally do.

Heejin cringes internally, contemplating if she should just throw the letter out altogether, be fine with no closure, the gaping hole in her chest left by Hyunjin forever there, never filled. 

Heejin shakes her head, and continues writing.

Thank you, truly, for all the memories you've given me for the past 7 years we’ve known each other. I experienced a lot of my firsts with you, and that's something that I’ll never regret, ever. From my first college party, to my gay awakening, to my first kiss.

To my first love. 

You were, in a lot of ways, the other half of me, the pillar of support that I took for granted. I imagined a life for us together, the two of us, accompanied by a cat, no, two cats, in a cottage by the countryside. I never conceptualized what love even was, what it could be, what it could bring about, what it could give us.

Until I met you.

I didn't even know I liked you, I was in denial, sort of, but now that I think back, I was head over heels for you from the very beginning, it's kinda funny now that I think about it, and very obvious too. From waking up at 2am and rushing to the Pizza Hut across the street to buy you a large pizza when you had really bad gastric that one time, to the simple things, like waiting for your good morning or goodnight texts to make my day. 

I will never forget the time you said you liked me back. I can't describe the emotions I felt that day, but to the best of my ability, it felt as if I was lifted up and thrusted into heaven, basking in an unexplainable feeling of euphoria. 

And then you pulled me in and kissed me. It wasn't very long (because we both were inexperienced) but it was sweet and innocent, and the best kiss of my life (well it's the only kiss of my life but you get the point). The days that followed, waking up to you cuddling against me, or to the all too familiar scent of burnt bacon, you and horrible attempts of cooking, followed by me rushing to help you not burn our dorm down. 

The dates with you were unforgettable as well. I’ll never forget the time you wanted to bully a literal 7 year old because he bought the last corndog after wanting to buy it for me. The poor kid was crying, CRYING! 

letter pause

Heejin looks up for a bit, chuckling at what she just wrote as she faintly recalls Hyunjin trying to be intimidating, and the poor kid’s priceless face. At the same time marvelling at the sheer length of the letter, spilling over to the back page. 

Before Heejin starts to cry again, she quickly puts the pen back down on the paper and resumes writing. 

letter start

Our breakup was messy, and we didn't end on the best of terms (which is why i'm writing this letter at 3am lol) It sounds cliche, but when we broke up, you took a piece of me that I’m never gonna get back. I was broken for 2 months, I still am kinda. I didn't go to school for those 2 months, I ignored Jungeun and Jiwoo’s calls, and basically replaced them with ice cream and alcohol. 

You seemed so happy on social media, all your Instagram stories, your familiar, obnoxious laugh and your signature smile with your charming canines. But maybe you were hurting inside too? Who knows.

So with this letter, I hope to give myself, and maybe even you some form of closure. Maybe I’ll never have the guts to give you this and I’ve just wasted my time writing this. But I guess this is goodbye.

For now.

Heejin takes one final big breath in and out, before finally finishing her letter.

Love,  
Heejin

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos MUCH appreciated 
> 
> thanks for reading! :)


End file.
